Good Night, And Don't Let the Bugs Bite
by EinAffe
Summary: Anakin's first night at the Jedi Temple is somewhat more adventurous than expected. What is that commotion coming from Obi-Wan's bedroom? Is it Darth Maul who returned for revenge, or has Obi-Wan joined the Dark Side? Or maybe it's something else entirely


**Good Night, And Don't Let the Bugs Bite**

**Author's note: **Hi, sorry it's been so long. I'm not quite satisfied with how this turned out, it sounded so much funnier in my head, but well. Unfortunately, I can't write it the way it sounded it my head, but I tried to get as close as possible. I hope you'll enjoy this bit of useless randomness.

oOo

SMACK!

Anakin jerked awake, almost falling down from his sleepcouch at the loud crack that suddenly disturbed the serene silence of his sleep. Startled, Anakin looked around, confused by his surroundings. This was not his tiny but familiar room back on Tatooine, nor was it the lush chamber he had inhabited in the palace at Theed. As he slowly blinked the sleep from his eyes, Anakin recognized the plain beige wall, the small and as of yet uncluttered desk and the shuttered window as belonging to his room in the Jedi Temple.

The Jedi Temple. Anakin had moved into his room only the day before. The apartment that was now his home was of modest size, but it featured all the essentials: a small kitchen area, a table that could comfortably accommodate up to four people, a small but meticulously clean refresher, a living room complete with couch, some pot plants of varied size, a shelf with an assortment of much-read books, an unoccupied space with meditation mats in front of the window, and of course the two bedrooms.

Only the fact that everything down to even the towels and the toilet paper was beige or some equally boring variation thereof did not sit quite well with Anakin – but that was not something that could not be easily remedied with the crayons he would ask Obi-Wan for. Even on Tatooine, things had looked more colourful, and Tatooine was a desert planet which was mostly of a kind of sandy, yellow-ish light brown colour. Still, Anakin liked the Temple, even though its inhabitants seemed to be chromatically challenged. Maybe non-bland colours were too exciting and made Jedi fall to the Dark Side, or something.

Anakin was just contemplating the Jedi's rather obvious fondness of anything brown and if that also counted as an attachment when his thought were quickly scattered by a repetition of the thing that had woken him.

SMACK!

Once again, the loud noise startled Anakin. His first, fearful reaction was to hide under his covers, anxiously waiting, straining his ears for any other strange sounds. For a few seconds, he didn't hear anything. Then –

SMACK!

There it was again. It did not come from inside his own room, and probably not from the adjoining living room, either, but it definitely came from somewhere inside the apartment. Anakin trembled under the covers of his bed. Obi-Wan had said that the Sith was dead, but the Chancellor had said that the Dark Side could prevent people from dying – and the Sith had been of the Dark Side, hadn't he? So maybe that red and black menace was not dead, after all. Maybe he had come back, taking revenge on Obi-Wan for killing him, or rather for failing to kill him. But then, why would he want to take revenge?

Trembling, Anakin carefully peered out from under the blanket. The Sith had already taken away Qui-Gon. He would not allow him to take away Obi-Wan, too. Although Anakin didn't know Obi-Wan as well as he had come to know Qui-Gon in the short time they had spent together, the young Knight had accepted Anakin as his Padawan, and he had been unfailingly polite to a small slave boy from Tatooine. Obi-Wan was mostly an enigma to Anakin, but an enigma he planned to understand one day, so it would not do to lose the second Jedi who had agreed to take him as a Padawan to the dreadful Sith warrior.

Besides, Obi-Wan would be completely at the mercy of the Sith (and everyone knew that the existence of mercy in a Sith was even more unlikely than a single shot from a single tiny one-man space ship destroying a huge battle station, design flaw or not). Obi-Wan might seem like an accomplished Jedi, an excellent swordsman and an even better negotiator, but still Anakin couldn't help but doubt his abilities. Anakin was sure that he could do better, that he was even now better than his Master, even when he hadn't even received any training yet. He was the Chosen One, and his natural Force powers were unparalleled even by the greatest Jedi. And had Qui-Gon not set aside Obi-Wan for him, a much more promising student, superior in every way, if Qui-Gon's behaviour in front of the Council was anything to judge by. And Anakin was the Chosen One, so by definition he was more able than anyone else at whatever he chose to do.

Anakin was confident that this would only be the first time he would have to rescue Obi-Wan from dangerous situations before Obi-Wan could rescue himself. And he would carefully take note of each occasion so that he could reproach his Master with it whenever he felt like it. And Anakin was sure that he would be good at rescuing his Master from dangerous situations that were entirely Anakin's fault because the impetuous Padawan liked to use his more level-headed Master as bait in barely half-cooked plans that would never work out the way Anakin wanted as he never thought anything though. Or that Obi-Wan would mostly succeed at rescuing himself from the predicaments Anakin left him in. Or that Anakin might carefully count the number of times he had to rescue his Master, but that the number of times Obi-Wan had to rescue his headlong Padawan was uncountable.

Still, Obi-Wan was the only Master he had, and Anakin was the only human who could rescue him.

Slowly, cautiously, Anakin pushed away the blanket and tiptoed over to the door that separated his room from the living room. He stood there for a few seconds, motionless, trying to find the courage to open the door and face whatever was the cause for this noise.

Pushing the door open just a tiny crack, Anakin peered through. Everything seemed quiet and perfectly all right in the living room. It looked a bit spooky, with the flashing lights filtering in from the speeders flying by outside and the sliver of yellow light spilling out from under Obi-Wan's door. Anakin slowly crept over to the opposite side of the living room towards the narrow door that lead to his Master's bedroom.

"Master?" Anakin whispered, not quite able to ban the slight shaking from his voice. "Obi-Wan?"

He didn't get an answer, but Anakin heard some indistinct murmur, followed by the rustle of fabric, the light tap of bare feet on the smooth surface of the floor and another loud SMACK! Now that he stood next to Obi-Wan's room, he could also perceive the faint buzzing he was learning to associate with an ignited lightsaber permeating the air.

"Master?"

This time, Anakin's tremulous inquiry was a bit louder, and he did get an answer, though it was not the answer he had expected.

He could hear a low growl coming from Obi-Wan's room, so different from the usually soft-spoken Jedi Anakin had met that he knew something had to be seriously wrong. Then, Obi-Wan said something in a kind of sing-song voice as if to lull his opponent in false safety.

"Just come here, you tiny little annoying Sith. Just come here, and I swear I'll be the death of you. Oh, this will drive me to the Dark Side for sure!"

The sing-song quickly became the harsh hiss of annoyance. Anakin thought he could hear Obi-Wan's bare feet on the floor again, and then the slight characteristic creak of a sleepcouch, the rustle of sheets, and the hum of a lightsaber as it sliced through nothing but air.

Anakin shrank back from the door, intimidated by the threat in Obi-Wan's voice. And the way Obi-Wan sounded, Anakin had no intention at all of following this particular command. Qui-Gon had told him that his apprentice was known for trying to negotiate even in the most hopeless of situations, and to hear such violent threats instead of the unflappable reasoning Obi-Wan was known for seemed to Anakin a sure sign that his Master had gone to the Dark Side (whatever that might be, but Anakin figured that it was not something good Jedi did).

And good Jedi did obey their Masters, and Anakin was still new enough at being a Padawan that he wanted to be the best Jedi possible and that he still considered following his Master's orders a viable option and not just a vague guideline. So, very slowly, very tentatively, he opened the door to his Master's sleeping room, dreading to find Obi-Wan's features contorted in hate and his eyes blazing yellow, the only Jedi who cared enough to have taken him as apprentice (no matter what might have influenced that decision) becoming the same red and black monster he had fought just a few days before.

As Anakin peered through the narrow crack he had opened, though, he only saw a very dishevelled and very disgruntled Obi-Wan standing on his sleep couch, knees slightly bent, ready to spring into action any second. His eyes were searching the walls and the ceiling of his brightly lit bedroom, his left hand was tightly clutching one of the light, flat shoes they wore inside their apartment instead of the heavy boots, and the white knuckles of his right hand were tightly closed around the hilt of his brightly blue lightsaber.

As far as Anakin could tell, there was not a Sith to be found in the bedroom, with the possible exception of Obi-Wan, who looked positively like some kind of predator about to pounce on his unsuspecting prey. If the idea itself weren't so at odds with the coolly rational mind of Obi-Wan's that Anakin was quickly growing used to, the new Padawan would have almost said that Obi-Wan looked nearly deranged.

Suddenly, the Jedi Knight seemed to spot something, and with a bit more force than was strictly necessary, the shoe hit the wall with a loud SMACK!

"Ha, gotcha!" Obi-Wan mumbled with a kind of grim satisfaction, triumphantly grinning at something that was now apparently attached to the sole of his shoe-weapon.

His intense gaze sweeping the room, Obi-Wan finally noticed Anakin peering into his room.

"Oh, hello, Anakin," he said, his gaze softening, sounding surprised to see him but not unfriendly, not the demonic Dark Side monster Anakin had half expected. "Is everything all right? Did you have a nightmare?"

Anakin's eyes grew wide. He had only ever seen Obi-Wan dressed in the many layers of traditional Jedi clothes, but now he only wore loose pants and a shirt that was slightly too wide for him, and they looked like they had been slept in, which was not so absurd considering that they were being used as sleeping clothes. His hair, although still very short, somehow still managed to stick out in every possible direction. There were dark shadows under his eyes, though Anakin wasn't sure if they were from randomly hitting walls with shoes in the middle of the night or if they were due to a combined effort of the ghosts of Qui-Gon and the Sith.

"Um…" Anakin was not sure what to say. He felt Obi-Wan's eyes expectantly resting on him and reciprocated the gaze, but did not find the right words.

But Obi-Wan's eyes soon left Anakin's face, and they then seemed to follow a tiny speck that rivalled the noise by the still ignited lightsaber in Obi-Wan's hand when it came to producing an annoyingly high-pitched buzzing sound.

The predatory look came back to Obi-Wan's features, and he watched in satisfaction as the tiny speck circled around the brightly shining blade of his lightsaber before it fearlessly plunged into the brilliant beam of pure energy, expiring its insignificant life with a loud sizzle and a minuscule curl of smoke as it disintegrated.

"Ha, I got another one!" A small smile tugged at the Jedi's lips. Usually, a Jedi in general and Obi-Wan in particular was not supposed to feel anything but a passing, detached sorrow at the passing of any kind of life from – and still, the Knight who had been deprived of his well-deserved rest by annoyingly buzzing specks and did not enjoy the return of blessed silence to his bedroom was yet to be born.

"Another what?" Anakin finally found the courage to inquire.

"Why, another mosquito, of course," Obi-Wan replied as his eyes already returned to searching the room for his next victim.

"Is a mosquito the same as a Sith?" Anakin asked, in Obi-Wan's opinion much too cheerfully for being up and wide awake at an hour of the night that should by all means not even legally be allowed to exist. "Because if it is, I want to kill one, too. I'm the Chosen One, I was practically born to kill Siths. And I'll be really good at it, slicing their heads off when they kneel before me, old, pathetic and unarmed, or I'll throw them down a bottomless chute as they zap themselves with lightning. Yes, that's what I can do best. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm the only human who can do it," Anakin exclaimed, looking very smug and much too self-important for a proper Jedi.

But Obi-Wan was only half listening, and thus did not recognize the need to correct Anakin or to impart the bit of the Jedi Code concerning humility and truthfulness and mercy when it came to unarmed prisoners. His eyes and his focus were again following another of these Sith-mosquitoes, which circled him and finally decided to sit down on one bare forearm. A second later, it was transformed from a mixture of gelatinous goo and blood inside a seamless chitin carapace to a smear of gelatinous goo and blood as well as bits and pieces of a former seamless chitin carapace on Obi-Wan's forearm and palm.

"A mosquito is a small insectoid life form. Their females need the blood of a mammal for reproductive purposes. They gain the blood necessary for the production of their eggs by biting adequate life forms. Unfortunately, they also inject a substance that inhibits the blood coagulation, which also doubles as the cause for those nasty, itching mosquito bites," Obi-Wan explained, pointing to small round red marks about halfway up his left forearm and just under his left ear to illustrate his meaning. "Another rather irritating characteristic of theirs is the high-pitched buzzing noise their wings create when they are flying. In fact, they do sound distinctively like racing pods for monads, if something like that existed. And they were having a race around my head for most of the night."

Obi-Wan shrugged rather helplessly. The mosquito infestation in his bedroom had kept him from sleeping, and he really hoped that he had gotten all of them this time. Another quiet sizzle spoke of one more blood sucker that had not been able to resist the bright blue light of Obi-Wan's weapon and had expired in an explosion of energy.

Anakin's eyes, meanwhile, were flitting around the room, trying to determine if there really was a pod race going on around his Master's head.

"You should have told me about any pod races taking place in your bedroom, Master," Anakin all but rebuked Obi-Wan. "I might have wanted to take part in it – after all, I am the only human who can do it. But I have never heard of any mosquitos winning a race, so I could have beaten them easily and won another hyperdrive for Padmé's ship. One can never have enough hyperdrives, just in case one is destroyed in a freak accident or something," Anakin positively lectured his Master, who had apparently no idea whatsoever about pod racing or about space travel in general and hyperdrives in particular.

The last insect circling around Obi-Wan was completely forgotten as the young Jedi stared at his apprentice, one eyebrow pulled up nearly to his hairline in disbelief. What Anakin had just said needed to be corrected on so many levels that Obi-Wan had no idea where to start. Finally switching off his lightsaber, he straightened out of his ready-to-spring-into-action-any-second-in-order-to-get-another-of-these-blastedly-annoying-mosquitoes crouch, carefully stepped off the sleepcouch to sit down on its edge. He let the shoe in his left hand fall to the floor unheeded and patted the mattress next to him.

"Sit down, Anakin, I think we have to talk," he said, sounding rather tired.

The next three hours, Obi-Wan carefully explained why pod races were not the most important thing in the Galaxy, that there were indeed other humans who could do it, that Anakin need not be offended that he had missed the nightly pod race in Obi-Wan's room because it had never taken place and why pod racing was not exactly a pastime Jedi Padawans were encouraged to indulge in, anyway.

During Obi-Wan's detailed explanation, Anakin's head slowly fell forward and his eyes fluttered closed. With much effort, Anakin's head rose again and his eyes opened, but Anakin's valiant struggles were for naught, and barely a few seconds later, he sagged forward again.

Obi-Wan didn't notice Anakin's exhaustion, mostly because he was pretty tired himself. He wanted his words to make sense to Anakin, so that his Padawan understood the importance and the seriousness of what he said, and that became increasingly difficult with the way his eyelids seemed to be attached to lead weights and his thoughts seemed to take a lot of unnecessary detours which mostly dealt with how warm and confortable his bed was and how nice it would be to just lie down and get some much-needed sleep. Still, some personal discomfort would never keep him from doing his duty, and he would not fail Anakin by not teaching him properly. He was no Qui-Gon Jinn who could bond with just about anyone immediately (given they were pathetic enough), but he would always teach his new Padawan to the best of his abilities, as limited by lack of experience as they might still be. So he stubbornly scrubbed the fatigue from his eyes and continued in his explanation.

Obi-Wan valiantly battled a huge yawn as he explained that Jedi didn't usually indulge in killing sprees, either.

"A Jedi must never take another being's life if there is any other way. Sometimes, it can't be avoided. Sometimes, you have to take the life of another sentient being. But you must never do so lightly. Under no circumstances may you kill unarmed persons or prisoners, or butcher a whole tribe of Sandpeople, no matter what some of them might have done to a close relative of yours. And no matter what others might tell you, killing children does not enable you to create life. One cannot repeat that often enough. Just because you have taken lives doesn't mean you can keep them, store them and use them at your convenience to save someone you love."

Obi-Wan stifled another yawn. Anakin was more than half asleep by now, badly listing to one side. The only thing that kept him from toppling over was Obi-Wan's side, which served as a somewhat lumpy and oddly shaped but still warm and comfortable cushion.

"However, there are circumstances where even Jedi have to take a life. Sometimes, it is unavoidable and there is no other option, for example because you cannot arrest the violent leader of an army of battle droids that threatens to destroy the tattered remains of the Republic, or because your only alternative is falling down a bottomless pit and leaving the fate of your dying Master and a whole planet in the hands of a cruel Sith. All of this is written down in the Jedi Code. But as it is with almost all rules, there is also an exception to that rule. One example of that is Master Mundi, who was allowed to marry in order to ensure the survival of his species."

Here, Anakin perked up slightly. So there were Jedi who could marry? Maybe he could be one of the exceptions. He was exceptionally exceptional, after all, being the Chosen One and everything. That settled it for Anakin. He would be an exception not only in his superior skills and his fantastic looks but also in this respect – he would be one of the few Jedi to marry, and the only Jedi to marry a beautiful Angel.

In the background, Anakin could still hear his Master talking. He couldn't tell apart the words, but the quiet, soothing tone and Obi-Wan's melodious voice soon put him back to sleep.

"As with all the rules, there is also an exception to the rule about killing sentient beings. If you take a look at the unabridged version of the extended Jedi Code Appendices, you will find an annotation there referring to the part about there being no death, but the Force."

With a nonchalant flick of his wrist, Obi-Wan summoned one of the books on his shelf, thumbed through it until he found the desired page and showed it to his Padawan.

"Here, you see, this page says: There is no death, there is the Force*," Obi-Wan pointed out. "And being the bright, inquisitive boy you are, I am sure you have noticed the little asterisk there. Now, if we look to the bottom of the page, we find that this asterisk refers to an annotation right here on page 5311."

Obi-Wan pointed to a lengthy paragraph on the mentioned page. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, searched the paragraph for the bit he was looking for and read out loud: "Several unverified accounts of Jedi who allegedly existed in the Force even after their physical death are not the only (although unproven) exception of this rule. In their unending wisdom and bothered by the seemingly unending mosquito plague, they decided that this generalisation is applicable to all and everything except gnats. Because the mosquitoes caused an abominable lack of serenity in the Temple, and thus letting the gnats live was a surer path to the Dark Side than simply wiping out the entire mosquito population which resided inside the Jedi Temple. Thus, it was decreed that Jedi are not only allowed to eradicate any gnats they encounter within the Temple, but that it is in fact their duty to do so."

Obi-Wan reverently closed the book – it had belonged to Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan spent a few moments remembering how his Master had read that exact same paragraph to him after he hadn't slept for three days in a row because there had been twenty-four mosquitoes in his bedroom and he hadn't dared to kill them. With a soft sigh, Obi-Wan put the book on his bedside cabinet and finally turned to Anakin.

His sigh was a bit less soft as he noticed that Anakin had not been listening. His Padawan was snuggled against his side, eyes closed and mouth slightly open, snoring quietly. Obi-Wan could not fault him, he was terribly tired himself. The last few days had been exhausting – the battle of Naboo, the fight with the Sith, Qui-Gon's funeral and the celebration had all been rather taxing, and their first night back at the Temple had turned out anything but relaxing so far.

Obi-Wan frowned at the ventilation slots of the air condition. He suspected Master Yoda's swampy quarters as the origin of the gnat infestation, and since the air condition system directly connected his bedroom with Master Yoda's marshy living room, his suspicion was quite justified.

Obi-Wan snatched the last mosquito from the air as it was heading for his softly snoring apprentice. Then, he put Anakin in is bed and carefully covered him without waking the tired boy up. Now that his bed was occupied, Obi-Wan stood up and trudged over to the door. He would simply sleep in Anakin's bed tonight – or on the floor, because if he didn't get there soon, he would fall asleep right where he was standing. He checked one last time on his peacefully sleeping apprentice, then he stumbled over to Anakin's room, flopped down on the bed, and fell asleep before he could even draw the covers over himself.

oOo

**Author's note:** It's been a long time since I first thought of this idea. About one and a half years, actually. It was in the middle of a summer night before the last exam of that semester, which I spent mostly sleepless and gleefully squashing mosquitoes. So yes, this is based on a true story that even happened to myself, only I don't have an apprentice. But I somehow managed to survive the exam on the following day, and it turned out none too bad, either (to my everlasting surprise). So anyways, thanks for reading, and I would be terribly grateful if you could leave a review. I hope you'll hear from me again soon, because that means I had enough time to actually write another story :)


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